In the footsteps of Myself, pt2: development of my magnetic center

I found the second phrase of my track: “Have you already learned to be happy for the difficulties?” -as many others- in a $1 mini book bought on downtown streets of Cordoba (Argentina), where I am from.

This mini book that I still treasure is a compilation of quotes and short excerpts from all around the world and throughout history. And is one of the best books of my youth, if not the very best. It is convenient size, easy to fit in the smallest pockets, a determinant factor of having read this book many times, recording in my mind many thoughts of amazing people who walked the path of life in ancient and not so ancients times.

This is a beautiful example of the role that small things play in life                                                                                     And also accidents: if I had never found this book in my mom’s drawer, perhaps I would not be writing this now…It is most curious, though, that even when we are able to understand this truth about the role that accidents play in life, we readily forget and move on! But I firmly think we should not accept the fact that our lives are shaped by a chain of accidents. And, probably, you agree… right?

So, why? Why do we take at every moment that high risk gamble of leaving accidents to lead us?

Because we forget. We forget that we can change roles -by putting some consciousness on our thoughts, words, and actions, leaving accidents to take their correct place on our life.

This will maybe sound ridiculous for those who never thought about it before. I understand. On my experience, True loves to wear funny clothes. I think it constitutes the very first step in the path of those who wants to take their life into their hands: to remember.

To remember what? (Do you see? You already forget it:)

To remember that You want to make the decision that is going to be made anyway. To remember that You can decide your mood in this moment. To remember that You will to lead your existence today, instead the chain of accidents.

To remember yourself.

But we do forget. We do lose perspective and become… weak.  The reality is that we cannot be different as we are. Though, we could.

To lose this perspective, in my words, is to lose the sense of proportion, or forget the role of scale and relativity. In a very physical explanation, when this happen the smallest accident -as a bug floating in your glass of water- can screw your mood for the day (and we all have something that can “bug” us so). Any accident can change our mood, and our mood colors everything we see in life. It is no exaggeration to say that some of us live our whole life from a perspective greyed from such small and stupid things. But actually, it is not the bug’s fault…

Today, thanks to the readings, feelings, and accidents that led me to the conditions that I was not-so-consciously- looking for, I can understand why this happens and sometimes fight back. Although is not lie than too often I wish I can do better, sometimes is so much more than never.

Just as one is to zero, which is mathematically so much more than two is to one! The first step…is usually the most important. It is the one which starts the process, the one which transforms your position into your path. (I know that you can change direction by the time of your next step. Does not matter: to walk is to go forward. To stay still, is to go back. And to go back is to go forward watched from back).

So…

to be happy of the difficulties means, for me, to remember that anywhere there is a problem to solve, an obstacle to jump, a pain to mourn, that there is a place for me to take on, which, to say it even more directly means that I am there where the difficulty is. And if I am there, knowing that I am there, I should be happy to be there, because this means I am alive. And so I have the chance to solve the problem, to jump over the obstacle, to mourn my tears.

There are no difficulties for those who are not here.

Although when after some search and personal training it is not so hard to understand the truth behind this proposition, the hard thing, again, is to remember it when I am thirsty and find an unexpected bug in my glass of water.

So, remembering is the key.

The fact is that we cannot.

And the truth is that we could. 

Developing of my magnetic center: in the footsteps of Myself – Part 1

I don’t know how many people can, precisely, retrace the steps to most decisive moments of their lives, to small details that have shaped their life, personality, achievements, and shortcomings. To those choices that brought you where you are today. By a curious hobby from my youth, I can.  Not perfectly, mind you; just precisely.

This hobby consisted in collecting the best quotes, and to transcribe them to personal notebooks, and always with the same specific pencil: a very cheap one.

This hobby started in high school. I read Socrates’ Apology, by Plato. This story, about the conviction and subsequent execution of Socrates, made me realize how ignorant we are by nature, always hiding the truth about everything—that we don’t know—behind words and shapes that we don’t understand. Socrates never preached, but practiced this very first quote of my collection:

“Know yourself and you will know the world.”

But it was the humility of Socrates which overwhelmed me. His more famous quote, “All I know is I know nothing,” is a powerful synthesis of the state of man, and the very first truth to swallow to–eventually–know. While one remains convinced that one knows something, there is no chance for real knowing, because there is no intention to discover what really is inside oneself. Like a man who vainly asserts he can speak a foreign language, but when hearing that language becomes annoyed because the speakers are doing it so poorly: that’s our state.

When Socrates said that, all his disciples—quite sure that he was the wisest man in Greece—became upset, and demanded he clarify himself. But Socrates was quite sure of his ignorance too. So he went to the Delphic Oracle to see the Pythoness, and asked who the wisest man in Greece is. To his surprise, his disciples were right; and the dilemma was born. To reach the truth, Socrates decided to talk with every sage of Greece. After this research, Socrates found out the sages of Greece were very convinced of their knowledge; through talking with them he verified that they did not know a thing. He also resolved the dilemma: he was the wisest man in Greece, because he was the only man conscious of his ignorance about everything, and that was enough to know more than anybody else in Greece.

It was the most beautiful true story I had ever read, and it was very impactful on me: I realized that understanding starts in the heart:

You can’t start knowing yourself until you stop lying yourself.

Since this flash of understanding, I realized that truth is a difficult disease to spread, though books are very easy to find—and I was very willing to read at those times. So I made the decision to be very strict with my readings, and to try to read books wrote by real men and women, people like Socrates. Unfortunately, he was so genuinely humble, that he never wrote a book. (and yet, 2500 years later here we are talking about him; what a lesson of eloquence!)

Coming back to those years, I developed a kind of attitude against poor literature and became very selective. I was looking for the mysterious symptoms of a strange disease, the symptoms of the truth, and nothing else.

Ipso facto, I needed some strategy, or better, a practical filter to apply. As a result of this reasoning, I invented a rule in order to select a book: the author must to be dead. This was for two reasons. First, because my heart told me that truth is an old treasure, an old source. It seemed stupid to look for it in our days. And two, because this was the only way to be sure of having all the necessary elements for measuring them -even in a superficial way- and conclude it worth the effort, or not. (You can’t classify someone who is alive; you don’t know what he or she can do tomorrow for changing their status!)

I know that it was a stupid strategy now, but I was young then. Do you see now why I needed to find these people?

However, after some time of applying this rule I concluded everybody who had drunk from this ancient source should be able to speak, or better, to write in a different way. To compress big ideas into a few words masterly combined. And by finding them, I could deepen my understanding by condensing my complex thoughts into simple quotes, using their life and words as symbols to show me the way to the source.

I was right.

So I started trying to put together the puzzle of the universe with these quotes. Nobody was by default out of my notebooks. Writers, poets, artists, musicians, architects, inventors, politicians, workers, and any kind of personality able to say something with enough power to reach me. As long they were dead, of course—and I’m glad that I didn’t find a real master in those days…In order to study his teachings, I’d have no choice but to kill him.

Ironically, the next step in my path was provided by an anonymous author. And it was even more powerful that the first one. It was for me, a magical confirmation of my theory. This mysterious and beautiful quote was found during an early 20th century exploration in Tibet, scripted in a rock. Even now, 15 years since reading it the first time, it still produces a tingling in my mind and my heart rejoices. By the way, this is the principal symptom of the truth that I have found: it never stops working.

The second step of my path, maybe still scripted in a rock in Tibet, is a question:

“Have you already learned to be glad for the difficulties?”